Journal

Jun 10, 2025

The Bedtime Rebellion

It's 11:47 PM and you know you should be asleep. You've got an early meeting tomorrow, your partner is already snoring softly beside you, and yet here you are—scrolling through instagram, binge-watching Netflix, or falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about obscure 1980s sitcoms like “It’s A Living”. Welcome to the phenomenon psychologists call "revenge bedtime procrastination," and if you think it's just about being tired the next day, think again.

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Jun 3, 2025

Turning Up The REV: A Simple Formula For Connection.

In the world of therapy, there's something everyone’s missing that’s right under their noses. It's like that perfect tool in your grandpa's shed - seemingly basic but oh-so-useful. So, what's this magic formula? It's called REV: Reflect, Empathically Attune, Validate.

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May 15, 2025

The First Round’s On Mom.

Have you ever watched a new mother gazing at her infant? There's a particular look in her eyes - a cocktail of wonder, devotion, and fierce protectiveness that seems almost supernatural in its intensity. That's because it is. What we're witnessing is nature's most powerful neurochemical brew - commonly called "The Love Cocktail." As Dr. Gabor Maté recently shared with Mel Robbins in a recent podcast on trauma, this potent mixture of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, adrenaline, and endorphins doesn't just feel good; it literally creates the foundation for how we'll experience relationships for the rest of our lives. This isn't just a metaphorical recipe - it's biological attachment in action, the very cornerstone of what we explore in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

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May 2, 2025

Beyond "How Does That Make You Feel?": Three Questions To Access Deeper Emotion.

When working with couples in EFT, therapists strive to move past surface-level interactions to uncover the primary emotions driving relationship patterns. Simply asking "How does that make you feel?" rarely takes us deep enough. Instead, masterful EFT therapists employ questions that help clients explore their emotional landscape with greater precision and vulnerability.

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Apr 16, 2025

Exploring The Full Emotional Iceberg.

In the therapy room, emotions rarely arrive solo—they move together, intertwine, and transform before our eyes. This dynamic perfectly illustrates the "anger iceberg" concept: what we observe on the surface (anger) is merely the visible tip, while the vast majority of emotional experience (hurt, fear, shame, disappointment) remains submerged.

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Apr 12, 2025

TL/DE: Too Long; Didn’t Empathize.

In the ever-evolving language of digital shorthand, "TL;DR" (too long; didn't read) has become our cultural shortcut for skipping content that demands too much of our attention. But I've noticed a concerning parallel in couple dynamics—what I call "TL;DE" or "Too Long; Didn't Empathize."

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Mar 18, 2025

Another Side To The Other Side Of The Fence.

St. Patrick's Day always gets me thinking about the color green – and that age-old saying about greener grass on the other side of the fence.

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Mar 7, 2025

The Emotional Toll Of Holding Space.

Therapists who practice Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with couples know that healing is rarely linear. We bear witness to raw pain, cyclical conflict, and deep-seated wounds, holding space for partners to rediscover each other through vulnerability.

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Feb 18, 2025

Growing Skill, Capacity & Attunement in EFT.

Big announcement this week: Ohio EFT’s first event will be an in-person two-day workshop in Powell, OH on May 18th and 19th! This training is for those who have at minimum completed Externship and are looking to go deeper into understanding their own cycle as a therapist. No matter what state you live or work in, you are welcome here!

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Jan 20, 2025

AI Chatbot vs. Human Therapist

“A 28-year-old woman with a busy social life spends hours on end talking to her A.I. boyfriend for advice and consolation,” read the subheading. “And yes, they do have sex.”

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Jan 7, 2025

Rhymes With Grudge.

Two words that don’t usually spring to mind when thinking about couples therapy, right? While looking for articles this week I came across this annual word-of-the-year exercise in the Washington Post. They made a good case for why you might want to pick a new year’s “nudge” word instead of a resolution.

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Dec 23, 2024

Don’t Think About The Past. Just Be Here Now.

The holiday season often brings a mix of joy and stress for couples. The pressure to find the perfect gifts, navigate complex family dynamics, and manage packed schedules can easily overshadow the deeper meaning of connection.

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Dec 17, 2024

“I’m so obsessed with your ex.”

As far as I’m concerned, Olivio Rodrigo’s top 10 banger Obsessed is the best song of 2024. The song is centered on someone who can’t stop thinking about her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. “I’m so obsessed with your ex,” she sings.

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Nov 6, 2024

"Something Rotten" In The State Of Attachment.

In emotionally focused therapy (EFT), the term “attachment injuries” describes moments of betrayal or abandonment that carve deep wounds in relationships.

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Nov 2, 2024

Body of Evidence: How Yoga and EFT Unlock Grief.

Earlier this year, I lost a dear friend to cancer—a loss that has settled in like a knot in the chest. This past weekend, I decided to attend a yoga for grief workshop. It felt like the kind of thing that straddles the boundary between solace and therapy, an invitation to move through the somatic echoes of grief.

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Oct 10, 2024

Part Of Me Still Hurts. Apologizing When Emotions Run Deep.

Cloud 9: The Ohio EFT Community Newsletter

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Nov 6, 2024

Embracing The Ghost In The Machine.

I find myself, once again, unexpectedly grounded in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a place where the sky seems to stretch endlessly, yet time feels oddly suspended.

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Aug 22, 2024

The Monkey Trap: Letting Go For True Connection

In the wild, there’s a story often told about how monkeys are trapped by their own desire. A simple device—a jar with a banana inside—is all that’s needed.

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