When working with couples in EFT, therapists strive to move past surface-level interactions to uncover the primary emotions driving relationship patterns. Simply asking "How does that make you feel?" rarely takes us deep enough. Instead, masterful EFT therapists employ questions that help clients explore their emotional landscape with greater precision and vulnerability.
Consider this powerful question: "What kind of meaning are you making from what you see on your partner's face right now?" This invitation helps clients articulate the often unspoken interpretations they make about their partner's expressions. These interpretations frequently trigger cascading emotional responses that can either escalate conflict or prompt withdrawal. By bringing these meanings into the light, couples can begin to challenge assumptions and create space for new understanding.
Another valuable question is: "It is okay to say I don't know.... What is it like to not know?" This gentle paradox acknowledges that sometimes clients genuinely don't have immediate access to their emotional experience, while simultaneously inviting exploration of what that uncertainty feels like. The question validates the experience of confusion while creating an opening for deeper reflection, often leading to surprising revelations about underlying fears or needs.
Finally, asking "What comes up for you as you're talking about this? What are you feeling inside your body as you talk about this?" shifts attention from the cognitive to the somatic experience of emotion. By directing awareness to bodily sensations, this question helps clients bypass intellectual defenses and connect more authentically with primary emotions.
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
3 Toxic Relationship Habits To Avoid.
by Jancee Dunn on April 28th, 2025
The author of “Hot & Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause” offers advice on what you can do when relationship red flags start flying.
Some People Are Just Difficult. Here’s How To Handle Them.
by Louisa Kamps on April 28th, 2025
These six books can help ease tension.
I Had a Sex Dream About My Therapist. Was She Right To Be Upset?
by Katia Riddle on April 28th, 2025
A baffled client wonders what happened. “She said I could tell her anything.” The New York Times “Ask A Therapist” column has this thoughtful reply.
Our Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call Is Friday, May 30th.
by Ohio EFT on April 28th, 2025
Join us at 9:00am on the last Friday of May for our continuing online discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. This month we’ll be continuing the discussion of takeaways from Scott Woolley’s EFT & affair recovery workshop. You won’t want to miss it! The link to the call will be in the next newsletter.
17 Ways to Cut Your Risk Of Stroke, Dementia And Depression All At Once.
A new study identified overlapping factors that affect your odds of developing these brain diseases late in life.
The “Finding Our Depth” Workshop Is Fast Approaching… Don’t Miss Out!
by OhioEFT on April 28th, 2025
Seats are filling up quickly for OhioEFT’s first workshop. Our new location is Hamilton Hall on OSU’s campus in Columbus May 18th and 19th.
Here’s some backstory: EFT therapists are generally focused on their clients and the clients’ personal and relational development. This workshop is an opportunity to focus on the therapist’s own development as an EFT practitioner. Whether your goal is to become a certified EFT therapist or to deepen your clinical work, this workshop provides an opportunity to revisit the EFT process and attend to ourselves in service of the lifelong learning of EFT presence and skill.
You can read more about it by clicking on the flyer below.
What Facing Cancer Taught Me About Fear.
by Suleika Jaouad on April 28th, 2025
There’s something on the other side.
New EFT Group Supervision Opportunities .
by Dr. Allison Fagan on April 28th, 2025
Dr. Fagan is forming two groups: one for folks who have completed or are in the midst of Core Skills advanced training, and another for folks who have completed Externship or similar.
She says groups would meet for 90 minutes for an in-person group or 60 minutes for a virtual group, at a mutually convenient time. She is asking for a 6 month commitment and with a maximum of 6 people a group. Note: The rate per person would depend on the number of people in the group, and if it is a 90-minute in-person group or a 60 minute virtual group. That means fees range from from $33 per person per session if there are 6 people in a virtual 60 minute group (or a total of $198) to $100 per person per session if there are 3 people in a 90-minute in person group (or a total of $600). Contact Dr. Fagan at Relationship Counseling of Ohio for more information.
The Downside of Getting What You Want.
by Jancee Dunn on April 28th, 2025
