After a long, snowy winter and a chilly spring, this past weekend finally felt like summer.
We headed up to my in-laws' lake house in southern Michigan — a place that's been in the family for decades. The boat went in the water. The sun was actually warm and the water… well, it wasn’t freezing. And on Sunday morning, my wife did what she does every year at this time: she got up on one ski and made it look effortless.
I should mention — she's a serious water skier. She's been doing it since she was a kid and is still genuinely impressive to watch. I, on the other hand, learned to ski on two skis at what I would generously call a junior varsity level. But, mercifully, my first ski of the season went well. No injuries. I'll take it.
Hers did not go quite the same way.
She popped up clean, had a great run — and somewhere in there, strained a piriformis injury she's dealt with before. During the nearly three-hour drive home, she was sore, stiff, and moving like the car ride had sealed her into a pretzel.
Getting out at a gas station, she said it the first time.
"Transitions are hard."
She meant the physical transition — car seat to standing upright. But she said it with this particular combination of wincing and deadpan delivery that made me laugh.
Then she said it again while walking from the car to the grocery store.
And again back home, getting onto the couch.
By the sixth time, it had become something between a mantra and a bit. Transitions are hard. She sounded simultaneously like an octogenarian and a slightly cheesy therapist — which, given that she is neither, made it funnier every time.
But the phrase had a ring of truth to it.
Because it kept showing up in a different context too, one I'd been thinking about all week.
I have a couple who has been in therapy for a while now. For years, one pattern defined them: when calls got tense, someone hung up. The cycle happened again and again — the disconnect, the silence, the reset a few days later. Lather, rinse, repeat. It became their transition between conflict and calm. Familiar, if not comfortable.
Last month, something shifted.
He was on the phone with her and felt the familiar pull — the old instinct to cut it off. But he slowed down. He thought about why what she was saying made sense to her, even if it didn't feel fair to him. He stayed on the line. The call didn't blow up.
Then he tried it again a few days later.
There wasn’t a specific or dramatic breakthrough. Just two small moments of doing something different.
That's what a transition actually looks like in couples work. It's not a revelation. It's someone's nervous system doing something it has never done before — or at least, not in a long time — and holding on long enough to find out what happens next.
The body resists at first. It makes total sense. It's been doing the old thing forever.
Transitions are hard.
But that husband found out something my wife will also rediscover when her piriformis calms down: the thing you love doing is still there. You just have to get through the ache of moving differently.
Now, on with this week's Ohio EFT Newsletter:
3 Health Benefits Of Marriage — And An Important Catch.
by Danielle Zickl on June 8th, 2026
Saying “I do” may influence your cancer risk, mental health and more.
What I Learned About Loss While Skateboarding At Costco.
by Conor Dougherty on June 8th, 2026
We’re all going to die. But first — just one more trick.
They Started I.V.F., Then Split. Now Who Gets Custody of the Embryos?
by Caroline Kitchener on June 8th, 2026
For 47-year-old Erin Millender, this will likely be her last chance to become a mother. Her husband no longer wants to have a child with her.
Join Us In Columbus This Summer!
EFCT Externship With Dr. James Hawkins - August 5-8.
by Ohio EFT on June 8th, 2026
Every couples therapist should attend an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) Externship!
If you work with couples or want to feel confident helping partners repair, reconnect, and rebuild trust, this is the place to begin.
The 4-day immersive training introduces therapists to the science, structure, and clinical techniques of EFCT, one of the most research supported approaches for helping couples heal relationship distress.
Developed from attachment science, EFCT helps therapists understand the underlying emotional patterns driving conflict and provides a clear roadmap for guiding couples toward secure bonding, emotional safety, and lasting change.
The externship is not just lectures. It’s an experiential learning experience where therapists learn through:
• Live lectures and teaching
• Observation of a real EFCT session with a couple
• Video demonstrations of EFCT interventions
• Breakout groups and experiential role-play practice
• A step-by-step clinical roadmap for working with couples
For those interested in specializing in EFCT, externships are the first foundational step in the pathway toward becoming EFCT certified.
Many therapists say the externship transforms the way they understand relationship distress, allowing them to effectively help couples, their families, and communities.
This August the Ohio EFT Community is honored to host Dr. James Hawkins, PhD, LPC "Doc Hawk", an ICEEFT certified EFCT trainer, supervisor, and therapist known internationally for his work helping therapists deepen relational healing in couples, families, and communities.
@doc_hawk_lpc brings deep clinical experience, passion for attachment-based therapy, and powerful teaching that makes EFCT come alive for clinicians.
If you want to:
• Feel more confident working with couples
• Understand the emotional cycle beneath conflict
• Help partners create secure, lasting connection
• Strengthen your own relationships…this training will change the way you practice therapy.
Join the Ohio EFT Community for this powerful learning experience at THE Ohio State University!
Click here to sign up!
10 Therapist-Approved Ways To Reduce Anxiety Fast.
by Joshua Coleman on June 8th, 2026
These techniques can calm your mind and body when anxious thoughts strike.
3 Red Flags That Suggest A Friendship Isn’t Worth Saving, According To Therapists.
by Jenna Ryu on June 8th, 2026
It’s never an easy decision, but sometimes you just need to let go. Here’s how to know whether it’s time.
The Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call - Friday, June 26th.
by Ohio EFT on June 8th, 2026
Join us at 9:00am on Friday, June 26th as we wrap up our 9-month discussion of the steps and stages of EFT.
We tackle Stage 3, Step 9. In this final step, couples move out of the therapy room and into the rest of their lives — taking what they've built and making it stick.
We'll have the link in the next edition of the newsletter.
Hope you can make it!
What It’s Actually Like To Downshift Your Life After Divorce.
by Dalvin Brown on June 8th, 2026
Marriage is an economy of scale. And divorce means confronting harsh realities about the cost of being solo.
What Sets Women’s Friendships Apart And Keeps Them Strong.
by Clare Ansberry on June 8, 2026
A lifelong bond, and hundreds of letters, between two women shows the importance of deep sharing.
