No two weeks look the same in a therapy practice. That was one of the things I used to love about working in newsrooms, and that unpredictability continues to energize me sitting knee-to-knee with couples.
One week you're sitting with newlyweds who can't figure out why they keep having the same argument about dishes. The next, you're with a couple in their sixties who've spent decades building a life together and are finally ready to talk about what it actually felt like.
Different ages. Different stages. Different goals.
Some couples walk in wanting transformation — a complete overhaul of how they communicate, how they fight, how they love. Others just want to stop bleeding. And somewhere in between, a therapist I respect once made a distinction I think about several times each week.
Change, she said, can feel enormous. Overwhelming.
But movement — that's something else. Movement is a step. Movement is achievable.
I love that reframe. And yet.
There are moments in EFT when even movement hits a wall. You're working toward an enactment — that crucial moment when one partner turns and speaks directly to the other from a vulnerable place. The emotion is right there, just beneath the surface.
And then one partner pulls back.
Not out of malice. Often because being seen like that — really seen — is terrifying. And no amount of gentle coaxing or skilled reflecting is going to rush that readiness.
Because here's what we learn, over and over again: we can hold the space and provide illumination. We can reflect the emotion back until it shimmers with clarity.
But we can't want it for them.
Which brings me to the oldest joke in the therapy world.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But the light bulb has to want to change.
There's a reason that joke has been circulating since Edison invented the light bulb. It captures something true — something that can feel like limitation but is actually a kind of respect. We don't drag people toward growth. We stay close enough that when they're ready, we're already there.
The light bulb gets to decide.
In this work, that moment of wanting — that's the light.
Now, on with this week's Ohio EFT Newsletter:
Your Friend Married A Dud. Double Dating Can Still Be Fun.
by Elizabeth Passeralla on May 11th, 2026
Experts share ideas on choosing the right activities and keeping the peace.
If You Think Divorce Is Messy, Try Splitting Up When You’re Not Married.
by Ashlea Ebeling on May 11th, 2026
Whether the fight is over the house or the dog, unwed former couples are often beholden to a patchwork of legal interpretation. ‘It’s the Wild West.’
Who Exactly Is That Wellness Influencer? Not Likely a Doctor or Nurse.
by Andrea Petersen on May 11th, 2026
New study shows many of the influencers sharing health advice online are coaches or entrepreneurs.
Join Us In Columbus This Summer!
EFCT Externship With Dr. James Hawkins - August 5-8.
by Ohio EFT on May 11th, 2026
Every couples therapist should attend an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) Externship!
If you work with couples or want to feel confident helping partners repair, reconnect, and rebuild trust, this is the place to begin.
The 4-day immersive training introduces therapists to the science, structure, and clinical techniques of EFCT, one of the most research supported approaches for helping couples heal relationship distress.
Developed from attachment science, EFCT helps therapists understand the underlying emotional patterns driving conflict and provides a clear roadmap for guiding couples toward secure bonding, emotional safety, and lasting change.
The externship is not just lectures. It’s an experiential learning experience where therapists learn through:
• Live lectures and teaching
• Observation of a real EFCT session with a couple
• Video demonstrations of EFCT interventions
• Breakout groups and experiential role-play practice
• A step-by-step clinical roadmap for working with couples
For those interested in specializing in EFCT, externships are the first foundational step in the pathway toward becoming EFCT certified.
Many therapists say the externship transforms the way they understand relationship distress, allowing them to effectively help couples, their families, and communities.
This August the Ohio EFT Community is honored to host Dr. James Hawkins, PhD, LPC "Doc Hawk", an ICEEFT certified EFCT trainer, supervisor, and therapist known internationally for his work helping therapists deepen relational healing in couples, families, and communities.
@doc_hawk_lpc brings deep clinical experience, passion for attachment-based therapy, and powerful teaching that makes EFCT come alive for clinicians.
If you want to:
• Feel more confident working with couples
• Understand the emotional cycle beneath conflict
• Help partners create secure, lasting connection
• Strengthen your own relationships…this training will change the way you practice therapy.
Join the Ohio EFT Community for this powerful learning experience at THE Ohio State University!
Click here to sign up!
Let’s Bring Back The Spontaneous Phone Call.
by Eben Shapiro on May 11th, 2026
Americans are on their phones all the time and send trillions of text messages every year. Why did we stop calling each other to just check in?
5 Money Lessons From Readers in the Trenches of Elder-Parent Care.
by Elizabeth Harris on May 11th, 2026
Generation X-ers and others shared stories of family crises, and we asked experts how to think about living longer than you expect.
The Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call - Friday, May 29th.
by Ohio EFT on May 11th, 2026
Join us at 9:00am on Friday, May 29th as we begin discussing EFT Stage 3.
In this final stage, the partners start to merge and reinforce or consolidate the new ways they’ve learned to handle the challenges that arise within the relationship, as well as those they may each experience internally.
We’re almost done with all 9 steps and this month’s call will focus on Step 8; helping both partners create new narratives or stories about their relationship, as well as new and more constructive solutions to the problems they’ve encountered.
Hope to see you there!
These Therapy Mini Horses Play The Piano For Hospital Patients.
by Kyle Melnick on May 11th, 2026
A California nonprofit is brightening hospital stays with music that’s as tumultuous as it is amusing.
Why Sitting All Day Is So Bad For You — And What To Do About It.
by Sarah Klein on May 11, 2026
Sitting isn’t exactly the “new smoking,” but it still isn’t a healthy habit. Here’s what too much sedentary time is doing to you and how to move more.
