Sometimes the universe conspires to teach us exactly what we need to learn, even when we're not looking for a lesson. I read a Wall Street Journal article recently about a stressed-out business traveler who faced every professional's nightmare: arriving at a resort to deliver a keynote speech only to discover her luggage had gone rogue somewhere between departure and destination. What happened next restored my faith in human kindness. A hotel employee, sensing the woman's panic, didn't just offer sympathy—she handed over the keys to her personal BMW and told the guest to drive to town and buy whatever she needed. That act of radical generosity got me thinking about the unexpected gifts that emerge when we're forced to slow down and accept help from strangers.
My wife and I discovered our own version of this magic over Labor Day weekend during our Pacific Northwest adventure. She had experienced the majesty of that region, and after flying 2,000 miles we then drove several hundred more miles between Seattle, Case Inlet in South Puget Sound, Cannon Beach, and Portland, OR. Despite all that momentum we somehow managed to truly slow down in ways that felt impossible back home. Maybe it was the surprise sunshine breaking through the legendary Seattle drizzle, or the locals who defied every stereotype about "the Seattle freeze" by going out of their way to share recommendations and stories. Whatever the alchemy, we found ourselves moving at a different pace—not just physically, but emotionally. We lingered over conversations with strangers, savored meals without checking phones, and allowed ourselves to simply be in each moment instead of rushing toward the next destination.
In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we talk about slowing down as one of the most radical acts couples can practice. When partners are caught in their reactive cycles—the pursuit-withdrawal dance, the blame-defend spiral—everything accelerates. Emotions run hot, assumptions pile up, and before anyone knows it, they're moving at breakneck speed toward disconnection. But when we help couples pump the brakes in session, something extraordinary happens. In that slower space, beneath the familiar arguments and protective strategies, we discover the tender emotions that have been racing by unnoticed: the fear of not mattering, the longing to feel chosen, the ache of feeling misunderstood. It's in these decelerated moments that real intimacy becomes possible, much like how our weekend wanderings revealed the Pacific Northwest's hidden treasures that we would have missed at highway speeds.
The irony wasn't lost on us that covering thousands of miles somehow helped us slow down more effectively than staying home ever could. Sometimes we need to physically move in order to emotionally arrive. Whether it's a hotel employee offering her car keys to a panicked stranger, or couples learning to pause long enough to actually see each other, the magic happens when we resist our impulse to rush through the discomfort and instead allow ourselves to be present with what's unfolding. In therapy and in travel, the scenic route often turns out to be the fastest way to where we actually wanted to go all along.
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
The Pain Of Sibling Breakups.
by Catherine Pearson on September 2nd, 2025
Family estrangement can bring up big, difficult emotions, and it’s not always about parents and children.
Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever.
by Elizabeth Bernstein on September 2nd, 2025
Married, single, young, old—a new study says Americans are in a sex recession. Our columnist asked the experts how to end the drought.
4 Approaches To Dealing With A Narcissist.
by Hope Reese on September 2nd, 2025
We asked experts for books to help people understand narcissistic personality disorder.
Welcoming My First Marriage Into My Second.
by Mary Leavines on September 2nd, 2025
Is it better to bury memories of past relationships, or embrace them?
I Asked My Wife About Sexual Fantasies. Her Response Changed Our Marriage.
by Joshua Coleman on September 2nd, 2025
As a therapist, I would say that talking about sexual fantasies can sometimes be helpful, but how you respond to your partner is important.
EFT Fundamentals Virtual Workshop Led By Rebecca Jorgensen - Akron Meet-Up!
by Christie Orosz, LPCC-S on September 2nd, 2025
Attention all LPC, MFT, and LSW students, interns, and counselors interested in learning and applying Emotionally Focused Therapy:
Please join us at Married Life Counseling October 3rd, 2025 from 10am-5:15pm for the Fundamentals of EFT workshop!
We'll learn together the basic tenets of attachment theory, the EFT experiential perspective, core EFT interventions and understand applications of EFT to all populations. Even if you've already taken Externship or Core Skills trainings, this is a great refresher course and opportunity to meet other local counselors pursuing this growing and highly sought after modality.
Contact Christie at christie@marriedlifecounseling.com to rsvp that you'll be joining us at Married Life for the day. We'll provide refreshments and camaraderie- please reach out with any questions!
Our Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call Is Friday, September 26th.
by Ohio EFT on September 2nd, 2025
Join us at 9:00am Friday, September 26th, for our continuing online discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’ll be continuing our journey through the 9 steps of EFT with Step 2 this month. The link will be included in the next edition of the newsletter.
A Troubled Man, His Chatbot And A Murder-Suicide In Old Greenwich.
by Roni Caryn Rabin on September 2nd, 2025
“Erik, you’re not crazy.” ChatGPT fueled a 56-year-old tech industry veteran’s paranoia, encouraging his suspicions that his mother was plotting against him. There’s a lot of talk about chatbots replacing therapists, and this article highlights why experts are concerned.
Are Marathons And Extreme Running Linked To Colon Cancer?
by Roni Caryn Rabin on September 2nd, 2025
A small, preliminary study found that marathoners were much more likely to have precancerous growths. Experts aren’t sure why.
