She was about thirty minutes into our session when she stopped mid-sentence, looked at me, and said, "I want to bolt out of this room right now." I nodded. "Tell me about that." She continued, "I can feel it. My whole body is telling me to just... run. To race out that door and put as much distance as possible between me and my whole life right now." She paused, her eyes widening slightly. "Is it weird that I'm noticing this?" Actually, I told her, the fact that she could notice it was kind of a big deal.
There's a world of difference between having an impulse and noticing you're having an impulse. When you're fully hijacked by a feeling—when anxiety or anger or shame takes over —you just react. You leave. You attack. You shut down. But when you can say, "I notice I want to run right now"? That tiny bit of daylight between the feeling and the action? That's where change lives. I’ve latched on to a helpful phrase some of the Success In Vulnerability trainers use in EFT training: "Did you notice that?" When a client's jaw clenches or their eyes dart to the door or their whole body shifts away from their partner—if they can notice it happening, we can work with it.
In EFT, we talk a lot about slowing down the cycle. That pursue-withdraw dance, the blame-defend standoff—these patterns move fast. But if somewhere in that cycle, one person can pause and say, "Wait, I'm doing the thing right now"—that's not failure. That's the first sign of change. You can't change what you can't see. And noticing takes discipline.
Which brings me to this week's Washington Post article about setting intentions for the new year. Before making resolutions, they suggest choosing a single word—a "nudge word"—to guide how you show up in the world. The word I landed on for 2026 is "disciplined." Not in the white-knuckle sense, but in the sense of practice. The discipline of noticing. The discipline of pausing before reacting. The discipline of creating that space between impulse and action, again and again, even when it's hard. Because that client who stopped to say "I want to leave"? She was practicing a kind of discipline right there—choosing awareness over autopilot.
So the next time you notice yourself reaching for your phone to avoid a conversation, or feeling your chest tighten when your partner brings up a touchy subject—pause. Notice it. Say it out loud if you can. That awareness is your superpower. Because once you can see it, you're no longer trapped in it. And if you're looking for your own nudge word for 2026, maybe start there: What word would help you practice noticing instead of reacting?
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
9 Ways To Take Care Of Your Mental Health In 2026.
by Christina Caron on January 5th, 2026
These tips will help refresh your mind and bolster your brain.
Our Favorite Relationship Advice For 2026.
by Jancee Dunn & Catherine Pearson on January 5th, 2026
Whether you’re looking to argue better or have a little more fun with your partner, we’ve got you covered.
I’m A Couples Therapist. Here’s How To Have A Better Relationship.
by Joshua Coleman on January 5th, 2026
Based on my own experience as a couples therapist and the scientific research, here are some tips to help you navigate and improve your relationship over time.
Ohio EFT Meet & Eat Winter Social
by Ohio EFT on January 5th, 2026
There’s been talk of having an in-person networking event ever since we started Ohio EFT back in the summer of 2022. Thanks to Ohio EFT Board members Wendy Ross and Jill Niswonger we’re able to kick off a series of what we hope will be gatherings across Ohio in the upcoming months. Please join us if you can at Pins in Dublin next Friday, January 16th, from 2-5pm. RSVP for this free event here. Questions? Send ‘em to wendy@infinitetransformationscounseling.com.
Why ‘Walkaway Wives’ Are Leading The Charge In Midlife Divorce.
by Flic Everett on January 5th, 2026
A new report shows that more women than ever are walking away from their marriages because they have ‘just had enough’. But, while husbands are left in shock after an ‘out-of-the-blue’ divorce, this reporter discovers, it is a very different story for their wives.
My Estranged Son Wants To Attend My Wife’s Funeral. Can I Tell Him No?
by Joshua Coleman on January 5th, 2026
Making the right decision about the funeral may determine your future relationship with not only your son, but also your grandchildren.
The Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call - Friday, January 30th.
by Ohio EFT on January 5th, 2026
Join us at 9:00am on Friday, January 30th as we explore EFT Step 4, where the couple reframes the problem and the real villain finally gets unmasked—it's not your partner, it's the cycle. We'll discuss how to help couples reframe their struggles in terms of attachment needs and protective patterns rather than personality flaws.
Hope to see you there!
Want To Be A Better Friend? Read These Books.
by Judith Newman on January 5th, 2026
In an era of loneliness, friends are more important than ever. How do we find, and keep, these connections? Start here.
The 52 Best Breakup Lines (Said In Real Life).
by Miya Lee on January 5th, 2026
To mark the winter holidays - an especially popular time to break up - The New York Times asked people around the world for their most striking parting words to each other.
