I was scrolling Facebook this weekend when I stopped dead on a meme.
It was a bottle of Caesar salad dressing. With a steak knife jammed in the back of it.
The caption: Beware the Ides of March.
I laughed. And then I didn’t.
Because “knife in the back” isn’t a figure of speech in my world. It’s a Tuesday.
Here’s the thing about Julius Caesar that most of us glossed over in high school: it wasn’t the knife that made it a God-tier, Shakespearean-level tragedy. It was Brutus holding it. A man Caesar trusted. A man Caesar needed.
That’s what Betrayal Trauma Theory — developed by psychologist Jennifer Freyd — gets exactly right. Your nervous system registered something was wrong — the shift in energy, the locked phone, the explanation that was just slightly too smooth. But acknowledging that danger meant potentially losing the person you needed most. So the mind did what it had to do: it looked away. Not out of weakness. Out of attachment. You knew. And you couldn’t afford to know. Both things were true.
One horrific detail that gets lost in all the drama: Caesar was stabbed in front of an audience.
The Senate watched.
And that crowd — those witnesses — is something my couples carry with them into my office every week. It’s not just the affair, or the lie, or the broken promise. It’s the mutual friends who knew first. The kids who felt something shift in the house months before anyone said a word out loud. The family group chat that went strangely quiet.
Betrayal trauma doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in a social ecosystem. And when the wound has witnesses, the healing has an audience too. Every reach toward repair gets watched and evaluated. Every stumble gets catalogued. The couple isn’t just trying to heal — they’re doing it under conditions that make genuine vulnerability nearly impossible.
hakespeare knew that tragedy needs a crowd. The whole point is the audience. But healing is not a performance. The EFT room — maybe for the first time — strips all of that away. No audience. No one keeping score. Just two people, the injury between them, and the slow, hard work of deciding what to do next.
Caesar’s last words to Brutus were a question.
He never got an answer.
Your clients can get one. That’s not a small thing. In the wreckage of betrayal, that might be everything.
Now, on with this week's Ohio EFT Newsletter:
What Will Happen When All The Male Therapists Are Gone?
by Pamela Paul on March 16th, 2026
Psychology is increasingly a female-dominated profession. That may have implications for boys and men.
A Psychoanalyst Lets Us Eavesdrop.
by Daphne Merkin on March 16th, 2026
Stephen Grosz’s books show a new generation the inner workings of psychoanalysis.
What Is Limerence, And Are You Confusing It With Love?
by Amanda Loudin on March 16th, 2026
Understanding the difference between love and limerence can be tricky, but it’s necessary for lasting happiness.
Registration is now open for our EFT Externship with Dr. James Hawkins.
by Ohio EFT on March 16th, 2026
Every couples therapist should attend an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Externship!
If you work with couples or want to feel confident helping partners repair, reconnect, and rebuild trust, this is the place to begin. The 4-day immersive training introduces therapists to the science, structure, and clinical techniques of EFT, one of the most research supported approaches for helping couples heal relationship distress. Developed from attachment science, EFT helps therapists understand the underlying emotional patterns driving conflict and provides a clear roadmap for guiding couples toward secure bonding, emotional safety, and lasting change.
The externship is not just lectures. It’s an experiential learning experience where therapists learn through: • Live lectures and teaching • Observation of a real EFT session with a couple • Video demonstrations of EFT interventions • Breakout groups and experiential role-play practice • A step-by-step clinical roadmap for working with couples.
For those interested in specializing in EFT, externships are the first foundational step in the pathway toward becoming EFT certified. Many therapists say the externship transforms the way they understand relationship distress, allowing them to effectively help couples, their families, and communities. This August the Ohio EFT Community is honored to host Dr. James Hawkins, PhD, LPC "Doc Hawk", an ICEEFT certified EFT trainer, supervisor, and therapist known internationally for his work helping therapists deepen relational healing in couples, families, and communities.
@doc_hawk_lpc brings deep clinical experience, passion for attachment-based therapy, and powerful teaching that makes EFT come alive for clinicians.
If you want to: • Feel more confident working with couples • Understand the emotional cycle beneath conflict • Help partners create secure, lasting connection • Strengthen your own relationships…this training will change the way you practice therapy.
Join the Ohio EFT Community for this powerful learning experience at THE Ohio State University!
Early Bird Registration Available Now. Click here to sign up!
My Sex Addiction Nearly Wrecked Our Marriage. Do We Have To Tell The Kids?
by Kwame Anthony Appiah on March 16th, 2026
My wife worries that withholding such a significant fact becomes an ongoing deception that could undermine trust.
Six Things To Know If You Are Estranged From Your Adult Child.
by Joshua Coleman on March 16th, 2026
You’re right, things have changed. And you may need to be flexible to re-establish a relationship with your adult child.
The Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call - Friday, March 27th.
by Ohio EFT on March 16th, 2026
Join us at 9:00am on Friday, March 27th as we explore EFT Step 6 - a critical component of Stage 2. In this step, we’re changing interaction patterns. Sessions focus on promoting acceptance of the partner’s new, vulnerable constructions of experience. Send me a direct message here on LinkedIn to get the link to the call.
New Study Raises Concerns About AI Chatbots Fueling Delusional Thinking.
by Hannah Harris Greene on March 16th, 2026
First major study on ‘AI psychosis’ suggests chatbots can encourage delusions among vulnerable people.
The Psychedelic Medicine Revolution That Wasn’t.
by Amanda Chu on March 16th, 2026
Believers in the healing potential of the mind-altering drugs thought RFK Jr. was the answer to their prayers. They’re still waiting.
